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Poem – I can’t carry it.

I can’t carry it.
I can’t carry the weight
of a thousand bad days,
of a childhood hurt,
of the broken glass
of leftovers, lonely, alone.

I can’t carry it
for anyone
anymore.

I’m tired of doing double duty
as teacher
as mother,
as counselor
as confidant.

I don’t have training in these things.
I didn’t sign up for these roles.

I can barely carry my own
fears
and sadness
and pain.

I can barely carry my own
abandonment
and loss.

You’ll just have to carry your own
and I’ll carry my own

otherwise each of us will be
weighed down
bent over
broken
by the
stuff
that makes up
a life.

It is enough for one.

I don’t remember saying any vows,
saying I would do this,
marriage or otherwise.
I don’t remember anywhere saying I had to do this.
I didn’t sign on the dotted line.

To hell with compassion.
Sounds like codependency anyway.


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